he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Are we still banned from the library?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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