Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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