she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize