it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
