; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
