Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
