I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize