What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
