I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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