Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
