Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
