The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
