Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
