I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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