whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
