you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
