i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
