Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
