and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
