chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
