i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Shame - the story of my life.
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