You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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