We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
