he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
soo... how was my night?
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