before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
