Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
