If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
