nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
