hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
