dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
