My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
