My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
