I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So squirting runs in the family.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
