Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
