drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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