I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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