If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My feet surprised me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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