I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
