lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize