do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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