You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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