If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
