worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
