All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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