you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
