I hate your face
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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