Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize