He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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