____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize