I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
