So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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