Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize