Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
