I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
