I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
