I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i was born a porn star she said
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
