two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
