Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
