i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
